The Danger in Overprotecting
our Children
As parents, we have an urge to protect our children. After
all, that is one of our primary jobs. However, there are certain dangers in
being overprotective. Parents who attempt
to bubble-wrap their children’s lives rob them of the lessons that are learned
in childhood which help them as they grow into adulthood. Living in the real
world is messy. Children are exposed to all types of things, violence on TV, stinky
garbage, unruly behavior of others, honking cars, and more. People look and act
differently. They are sometimes happy and sometimes sad or even mean. Life happens, and children experience it all. It
is not a parent’s job to protect their children from everything, but to explain
the things that really are. I am not saying to intentionally expose children to
negative experience, I am saying, if and when they are exposed, explain it -
don’t ignore it.
Childhood is a time when we help children live in the world. They
must be exposed to real-life experiences
in childhood so that they can learn lessons that will help them navigate their
world as adults. Jim Greenman in his book, Caring
Spaces, Learning Places states, “We can’t do that fenced off...scrubbing
and polishing every raw experience in the name of health and safety; or
protecting innocence so much that it scrapes away the natural luster of
childhood. Some of the wonders and joys of childhood that fuel the best in our
adult selves are unavoidably forged in bumps, bruises, and tears."
At school, safety is a primary concern. With that said,
parents must know that children will sometimes go home with bumps and bruises.
They may learn a bad word or two. They may play ninjas or simulate fighting. They
will un-invite friends from their birthday parties, knock over a block tower,
take each other’s toys, and call the teacher a meanie. It will happen. And, it’s
OK! This is how we learn to grow and develop. Every mistake a child makes is an
opportunity for a lesson learned. Children may also repeat a negative behavior
learned at school. This is an opportunity for parents to talk about the values
they hold dear and the behaviors they expect in their family.
By allowing children to explore their environment, parents
and teachers enable them to learn the skills needed to achieve success in life.
So, take off the bubble-wrap and get out the band aids. Kids need childhood!
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