The Danger in Overprotecting our Children


The Danger in Overprotecting our Children

As parents, we have an urge to protect our children. After all, that is one of our primary jobs. However, there are certain dangers in being overprotective. Parents who attempt to bubble-wrap their children’s lives rob them of the lessons that are learned in childhood which help them as they grow into adulthood. Living in the real world is messy. Children are exposed to all types of things, violence on TV, stinky garbage, unruly behavior of others, honking cars, and more. People look and act differently. They are sometimes happy and sometimes sad or even mean.  Life happens, and children experience it all. It is not a parent’s job to protect their children from everything, but to explain the things that really are. I am not saying to intentionally expose children to negative experience, I am saying, if and when they are exposed, explain it - don’t ignore it.

Childhood is a time when we help children live in the world. They must be exposed to real-life experiences in childhood so that they can learn lessons that will help them navigate their world as adults. Jim Greenman in his book, Caring Spaces, Learning Places states, “We can’t do that fenced off...scrubbing and polishing every raw experience in the name of health and safety; or protecting innocence so much that it scrapes away the natural luster of childhood. Some of the wonders and joys of childhood that fuel the best in our adult selves are unavoidably forged in bumps, bruises, and tears."

At school, safety is a primary concern. With that said, parents must know that children will sometimes go home with bumps and bruises. They may learn a bad word or two. They may play ninjas or simulate fighting. They will un-invite friends from their birthday parties, knock over a block tower, take each other’s toys, and call the teacher a meanie. It will happen. And, it’s OK! This is how we learn to grow and develop. Every mistake a child makes is an opportunity for a lesson learned. Children may also repeat a negative behavior learned at school. This is an opportunity for parents to talk about the values they hold dear and the behaviors they expect in their family.   

By allowing children to explore their environment, parents and teachers enable them to learn the skills needed to achieve success in life. So, take off the bubble-wrap and get out the band aids. Kids need childhood!


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