Successful Preschool Drop-off

Successful Preschool Drop Off

Sometimes it is hard to leave your little one in the morning. I get it. As a mother of three, I am keenly aware of the separation anxiety that both children and families experience at drop-off. This post will offer suggestions to make this transition easier for everyone.

Separation anxiety is a normal behavior and a sign of meaningful attachment, although it can be unsettling. It usually peaks between 12 to 24 months, during which time your child may have the most difficulty with a parent or caregiver leaving. Children sometimes don’t understand that you will return. They may cry and cling to you as you try to leave.

Many toddlers start demonstrating challenges at 15 or 18 months of age. Separations are more difficult when children are hungry, tired, or sick.  As children develop independence during toddlerhood, they may become even more aware of separations. Their behavior at separations will be loud and tearful, but it won’t last forever. Skilled teachers are able to offer love and support, and redirect children to engaging activities.

By the time children are three years old, most understand the effect their anxiety or pleas at separation have on the adults in their lives. It doesn’t mean they aren’t anxious, but they most likely understand that their behavior will have an effect on you.

Be understanding, but firm and persistent. Reassure your little one that you will return at pick-up. Once you have left, do not reappear. Don’t return to the room based on a child’s plea, and do not cancel or change plans based on separation anxiety.

Create quick good-bye rituals. A kiss, an “I love you” and a promise to return for pick-up is a perfect transition. The longer you stay, the longer the transition time, and the higher the anxiety.

Be consistent. Try to do the same drop-off with the same ritual at the same time each day. To make drop-off transitions even easier, try carline.  When separating, give your child your full attention, be loving, and provide affection. Then say good-bye quickly despite antics or cries for you to stay. Your ongoing consistency, explanations, and diligence to return when you say you will are extremely important to your child’s success in his or her growing independence.

Keep your promise. You’ll build trust and independence as your child becomes confident in his or her ability to be without you when you stick to your promise of return. Don’t return early and try not to be late.

Be specific. When you discuss your return, provide specifics in age-appropriate terms. Children do not understand the concept of time the same way adults do. Saying, “I’ll be back to pick you up after lunch” is more effective than saying, “I’ll be back at noon.”

It’s rare that separation anxiety persists on a daily basis after the preschool years. By following these simple tips you will help your child become confident and independent.  

The tips in this article are based on recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics